Fragile

I get told all the time how strong I am. If only people could see the truth. What happens when I am alone. I fall to pieces. The truth is that yes you may have seen my tears, but that is just the tip of the iceberg. That hurt doesn't go away and it doesn't matter if I'm the cause of my own pain or not. I will often beat myself up about it. My insecurities come out. All the weaknesses I try to conceal comes out.
I may seem confident, but I'm not. I need to be reassured just like everyone else.I guess when you love and open up your heart and self so freely, you also open yourself to all the pain and doubt that can come with it. I often feel as if I am not good enough and that hurts. Most of the feelings only come at night when it is quiet and I am sitting up alone. Usually by the morning after I have had my cry and I back to "normal".
When I say that the only opinion that matters is mine, I'm lying not only to myself but others as well. There are a handful of people that cross the line of what matters. I am not counting my children of course. How these people feel about me and what they think of me matters a lot.
At the end of the day I am as beautiful, brilliant and tough as a diamond but at the same time as fragile as crystal.